Category Archives: Stories of ANW

ANW 2001, Stories of ANW

Stories of ANW – Hillbilly and Peeve

The story of Hillbilly and Peeve as told by Brother Leo.
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I think this was ANW 2001…

Lots was going on in the world, and ANW was no exception. We had more people for that year than ever before, and certainly more than we’ve had since. In fact, it was after this trip that it was decided that 6 was enough. That rule sticks to this day. I mean, the right guy, baring the right gifts, can pop in for a night or two. However, we stick pretty hard to the 6-man rule..

But, I digress…

So this particular year, it happened that my Step Father-in-law, Papa Joe showed up for an overnight. And because he never liked to travel alone, he brought his long-time buddy- A guy that everybody aptly called “Hillbilly”. Now Papa joe is a mountain of a man. At the time, he was 6’2″ and about 350 Lbs. He’s got a typically Sicilian look and air about him. All in all a good man to have on your side in any situation. Hillbilly, on the other hand stands about 5’4. Maybe, if he’s carrying rocks in his pockets, he weighs 150 Lbs. You also need to picture a hairline similar to the 1980’s version of Gallagher, only dirty blonde and straight. He speaks with an accent that sounds straight out of West Virginia, even though he grew up in Madison Heights, Michigan. To call this man a character is to give characters a rather dubious reputation.

Aaaanyway…

We were sitting around the fire-pit. It was late, so obviously no one was feeling much pain. Slowly, as the night wore on, people started excusing themselves for the night. As each guy made his exit, Hillbilly, who was sitting on a log next to Peeve, would kind of lean across the fire toward Papa Joe and make some comment about their legs being too skinny or their belly being too small. Not anything over the top… Just strange little comments that really had no context. Papa Joe would make a comment back, and maybe make some kind of hand gesture that everyone would ignore…Except for Peeve.

Now, mind you, Peeve stands about 6’4″ and at the time he weighed in at about 275. So here is Peeve, listening to, and laughing at Hillbilly’s critiques as each guy walks away. Pretty soon, it was just Peeve, Hillbilly, Papa Joe and myself at the fire. We shot some shit back and forth for a while, laughed at the short-comings that Hillbilly had pointed out about the other ANW brothers and consumed another beer or three. Then it was Peeves turn to call it a night. As he stood up from the log to say goodnight, Hillbilly kind of leaned in his direction and, touching Peeve’s leg said:

“So… Where are you bunkin’ tonight, big fella?”.

Well, I’m not sure I had ever seen Big Peeve truly frightened before. But at that moment, he was absolutely petrified. He was frozen. He had no ability to speak and it must have taken him at least 30 seconds to regain the use of his legs. When he finally did, he didn’t say a word. He just tuned and half walked/half ran into the cabin. Papa Joe and Hillbilly laughed uproariously and then revealed to me that the whole thing had been staged. Hillbilly had bet Papa Joe that he could, by the end of the night, scare the big guy. They certainly succeeded…

The next morning, Peeve pulled me aside from the group. Obviously still shaken, He wanted to know what the deal was with Hillbilly. I tried to maintain my composure as the conversation progressed. But I must say I lost it when Peeve described how he spent the rest of his night. I’ll just quote Brother Peeve to close this story…
“Dude… I’ve never been so scared. I had to sleep on the zipper of my sleeping bag!”

Hillbilly 1, ANW boys 0
Bahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Additional commentary by Peeve
…And still today, that was the most scared I’ve ever been. The part of the story that you didn’t detail was when Vin walked away and into the cabin and Hill Billy say… “Man, he has one nice ass. I’d like to tap that tonight”

It was at that point that the night turned.

Stories of ANW

Stories of ANW – Curt’s Tantrum

Below is the story of ‘Curt’s Tantrum’ which is contributed by Brother Cow.
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It was one of our ANW trips for the ages. The weather was a challenge. The wind speeds were directly out of the north blowing south with constant wind speeds of 20-30 miles an hour on the beach. The sound of an angry Lake Michigan and the crashing surf were deafening. Wind gusts were constant…reaching up to 50 – 60 miles an hour and were unjudgeable as to when they would come and go.

A true nightmare for the players.

The scene was Hole # 9 (Ed. Note: Get a view of Hole #9 here) which was originally named “Travis’s Head”. The target at the time was a large black rock that was shaped like Leo’s sons Travis’s head. But following this trip , it was re-named Kurt’s Tantrum.

We were teeing off in one of the middle tourney rounds and throwing directly into the Norse Wind that included rain squall burst up the beach. On this hole a long straight shot is needed even in good weather. A slight pull to the left or right would leave you in the woods or worse the lake.

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From Brother Leo
The best of us were finishing the hole that year with a 5 or 6. The only way to get there was by throwing very short, low shots. We were, without exaggeration, laying on the ground to throw and trying to keep the disc no higher than 6 inches from the sand.

It was EPIC!
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The wind this day off of Lake Michigan in my humble opinion was like that of the October/ November Gail’s that sank the Edmund Fitzgerald. As we readied to teed off, members could be heard humming the Gordon Lightfoot song of the doomed ship.

The wind was so strong that any disk throw more than a foot off the ground was being grabbed and blown backwards over the throwers head behind the tee box. Leading off of the tee on this hole was not an advantage! How to play the hole was a mystery.

All players, but in particular Kurt, struggled. Several times his disk was thrown forward and caught in the wind and blown backwards behind him. On one throw his disk was grabbed and taken off the beach by the wind and blown a good 50 feet into the woods and some 90 yards behind where he had thrown from. His subsequent shots went everywhere. Some into the water which cause a “play it from where it lies disrobing”. Some into the woods.

Kurt’s anger and frustration grew. Then finally after 12 or more shots he exploded in a profanity laced tirade, disk bag throwing and beer can throwing, followed by his picking up and taking a 12 on the hole without finishing it. His anger, driven by brothers laughter, and his beer bong and shot penalties wer a memory to be saved.

A day later, as the tournament came to a close and the four day tally of scores were compiled, Kurt became excited to learn he had beat his big brother by a mere stroke and would not be taking home the “Meat”. His excitement was immense and could only be rivaled by the time in which he beat Vin at Boggle! He was friggin’ stoked!!!

Vin, at this time, calmly pointed out that Kurt had picked up the day before and therefore had an incomplete score and the “Meat”! A large argument ensued but the ANW brethren sided with Vin over Kurt in a landslide vote. As Kurt’s “picking up” was indeed viewed as decorum at its lowest level during a tournament of ANW’s level and would never be accepted in any tournament.

The Meat and the anger of a lost argument was Kurt’s. Which, in this writers opinion, may have led to Kurt’s departure from ANW.

Editors Note